I'm turning 43 years old this week, and I'm perfectly fine with it. I'm not one of those people who fret over being another year older. I recognize that being on this side of the dirt, so to speak, is a good thing. So while I was on the internet
I read her list and liked it. The first thing that came to my mind is that she is a much nicer person than I am and probably not a sarcastic control freak. (I'm not too full of myself to admit that.) I was nodding my head, thinking that she did a good job of summing up a few of life's truths that we need to accept sooner or later. But as I got to the end of her post, I couldn't help but think that there is another chapter to be added, a chapter with a few more truths that you probably don't think about when you're 32 years-old. These are lessons I've learned now that I'm firmly in my forties...
- Don't drink boxed wine. Sure, you get more mileage from a box than from a bottle, and with the economy in the crapper, it's tempting, but what you need to do is savor. Go for quality over quantity. Getting drunk is for frat boys and Lindsay Lohan. Lock the bathroom door, draw a warm bath, pour a glass, and reconnect to yourself....as often as you can. (Well, not too much or you'll never get the laundry done.)
- The world won't end if your young daughter hears a Katy Perry song that has the phrase "menage a trois" in the lyrics. Believe it or not, you can influence your child more than a pop star.
- When you get the e-mail from your kid's school asking you to sign up for items to bring to the Fall Festival/Valentine's Party/Teacher Appreciation Day, be sure that you are the FIRST one to respond so that you get to be the mom who brings drinks, cups, and plates instead of food.
- When you hit your forties, those cupcakes WILL indeed make your ass bigger at a much quicker pace than at thirty. If you don't want to go up a size or four, you'll probably have to eat something you don't like.
- Make YOUR KIDS do the dishes before you go to bed.
- If you make it to your forties and both of your parents are still alive, go hug them. I wasn't that lucky.
- You don't have to wear a thong any more. So what if people can see your underwear line? No one looks at a 40-something mom's ass any way.
- You are not required to complete school projects that are assigned to your children. Encourage and support? Yes. Create PowerPoint presentations and stay up late doing research while the kid sleeps? Hell, no.
- You don't have to like people who are related to you. When the olive branch you extend is broken, take a deep breath and move on with your life.
- More than likely, your life will never turn out like you thought it would. Once you accept it, you'll be much happier. Sometimes, if you're lucky, it just might turn out better.
- You will become invisible to young guys once you hit the forty mark. It's okay because they don't have money any way. (And they won't watch "The Breakfast Club" with you.)
- Take care of yourself. This life is survival of the fittest, remember? Get your mammograms, use sunscreen, and exercise. Get rid of toxic people and toxic substances in your life. You need to be around to tell your kids, "I told you so."