Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Karma Karma Karma Karma Karma Chameleon
Do you believe in fate and karma? The older I get, the more I’m convinced that fate has its hand on the paths of our lives. My mom used to always say, “When it’s your time to go, it’s your time to go. Nothing you do can change it.” I’m beginning to believe it. I’m beginning to believe that even though we may be given choices, there seems to be some grand outline in place, and we are just following along in a cosmic PowerPoint presentation, filling in the bullets points under each header, with the ending already penned for us. We just think we're driving the boat.
I am neither a very religious nor spiritual person. Although I like to play at it during my yoga, my mind is usually wandering off to think about what my butt looks like in my yoga pants or that funny clip I saw on youtube last night. Having said that, I can’t help but believe that karma is behind my four-year-old daughter’s interest in a belly tattoo or the fact that I thought my prayers were answered with the invention of fat free potato chips, only to find that Olestra makes me deathly ill. (That could just be irony, though.) But karma isn’t really about punishment as much as it is simply about cause and effect, which means I’m also hopeful that some of my good deeds might bring a peace of sorts for me somewhere down the line.
I know without a shadow of doubt that fate has brought you into my life. Some of you, I understand why you crossed my path. Others, I’m left to ponder your purpose. Is it to impart knowledge that is vital to my well-being? Or to make me feel better about the size of my thighs? Or to serve as a warning against putting inappropriate comments and photos on social networking sites? (I seem to have an abundance of that last variety in my life these days.) Maybe you are here because I have something meaningful (or not) to add to your life. It could be that bearing witness through my stories to some of the hard times I have endured will make you better appreciate the hand you have been dealt. Or maybe you’ll just be reminded of the certain pain and suffering in store for you if you chop off all of your hair in a moment of temporary insanity as I did. I would feel validated either way.
It is clear to me that not everyone was meant to be in your life forever. Some will inevitably move on for better or for worse. For me, there is only one person outside of family that I have known since birth who is still an active part my life. I have no doubt why he was brought to me. His purpose in my life is to randomly pop in unannounced and make me laugh at things I should be ashamed of, and for that, I am grateful.
The control freak in me wants to believe that I am the overseer of my destiny. Yes, I’m peddling this bike, but fate keeps throwing in speed bumps and detour signs that are forcing me off the road to places I would never knowingly add to my travel itinerary, places that scare the hell out of me. I have found that using fate as my mystic GPS means handing over a little of my power and trusting my instincts more than ever. I’ll go where the stars direct, and, if you have the guts, you are welcome to tag along. Although you may want to take my hand. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.