Monday, April 20, 2009
My daughter goes to a "green" school. They have done so well in their endeavor to reduce their carbon footprint that they won a state award and several grants for their hard work. Correspondence from the school is always via e-mail so that one more tree can live to see a new day. Parents have been instructed to pack a completely healthy and waste-free lunch - no drink boxes, bags of chips or anything else that will end up in the garbage. They even want us to send cloth napkins instead of paper. These people are HARDCORE.
Don't get me wrong. I love that she is being exposed to this kind of education. The problem that I'm having is that it shines a spotlight on my complete and utter laziness. I desperately want to be a tree-hugging hippie. I really do want to care about saving the rainforests and the ozone layer. I want to be that sporty gal that paddles her kayak down the river to view the elusive spider lilies that only bloom for 7 hours every other leap year. I just can't do it.
I'm not an earth-y girl at all. The closest I've ever come to being "one" with nature is attending Camp Cherokee as a kid. (That may have done more harm than good, though - think "Chigger Junction".) I have never slept in a tent in my life. The thought of a zipper and some nylon being my only defense against wild animals, serial killers and unusually large bugs makes me shudder. Don't you know that there are crazed madmen hiding in the woods, just waiting for you? HAVE YOU PEOPLE NEVER SEEN "DELIVERANCE"? My philosophy is that I want my vacation spot to be nicer than my every day life. I want someone else to make the bed and wash the towels. Is that so wrong?
I guess for now, I'll keep up my guise as a crusader for the environment. I'll recycle my milk cartons and wine bottles and hope that word doesn't get out that sometimes, I actually run the washing machine when there is only half a load.