Sunday, March 22, 2009

Girls Gone Wild


My daughter Hannah has always given me cause for concern. Even though she's only 4 years old, she has developed a deep love of tattoos and hiking up her skirt. (She wanted me to put a tattoo on her belly!) At the tender age of 2, she went to our front window, pulled down her pants, and was shaking her naked butt at the boys in the cul-de-sac playing basketball. (Her brother stood by laughing. I'm pretty sure he was the instigator.)

I have visions of Hannah on "Girls Gone Wild - Southern Style", or at least working at Hooters. When you put together her love of dancing and stripping off her clothes...well, you see where I'm going.

Hannah also has taken an interest in chest size, or lack of chest size. My Mom was a large woman who was very well endowed. (A trait that skipped my generation, thank goodness.) Hannah was sitting on her lap one day last year and pointed to her chest. "Granny, why do you have big boobies?", Hannah asked. "Well, because I'm a big person.", she replied. Hannah asked again, "Why do I have little boobies?". My mom said, "Because you are a little person. Yours will get bigger when you grow." Hannah thought about this for a while before announcing, "Granny, when I grow up, I'm going to be a BIG-BOOBED FIREFIGHTER!"

See there, I knew she'd find a way to work a pole into her career.

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